Vampires DO Suck (and so do I)

Have you seen this?
Because you need to. Oh. My. FUCK is this a funny movie. Now, I have to say, I don't usually like the "stupid parody" movies (like Epic Movie and Scary Movie and so forth), so I didn't think I'd like this one. But so many people I trust (read: you all) kept telling me how funny it was and how great this girl's Bella Becca was, and I caved. I think it was Living with Edward's endorsement that truly sold me, because she is one of the funniest ladies I know (and I know all of you, so clearly I'm in with the hilarity!).

TH had no interest in watching it, so I put it in while he was out tonight (um... that's what she said? If she was lonely, I guess...), and now I'm going to have to try to sell him on watching it, because I think even he would laugh like crazy. The girl, Jenn Proske, does a Kristen-Stewart-as-Bella-Swan impression so good it defies explanation. She even sounds like KStew at times, it's uncanny.

The level of detail, especially in regard to sets and locations, was fucking amazing. Some of the jokes were really obvious, of course, but they were so well done and they came so fast on top of each other (okay, THAT's what she said), that I didn't even have time to catch my breath most of the time. I present to you:

Exhibit A

There was also a running cat joke that had me losing my shit every time. It reminded me of the "Squirrel!" in Up, which is similarly reliably amusing.

This isn't the joke in the movie, but I love it just the same.

Bottom line: go forth and rent this movie, if you haven't already seen it. I'd say go buy it, but a few of us encouraged i_heart_fifty (aka TwiKiwi) to go do just that and she got a flat tire coming back and had to wait for roadside assistance for quite awhile (and I still feel badly about it), so I'm no longer sure she'll say it was worth the trip (sorry, girl!). But I hope she likes it, just the same.

Have you seen this? What did you think???

Motivational Inspiration

OK, so you read the latest Twitarded post, right? The one TexasKatherine thinks she'll regret? If not, go now, we'll wait. ... How is everyone else? Good? Good. ... OK, everyone back? Alright, let's get down to it. Obviously, TK looks great in the pictures and they're beautiful photos. I read that post and had a similar reaction to everyone else, I'm sure, but then inspiration struck.

This seemed appropriate.

Now, I know you're on the edges of your seats. What was I inspired to do? Did I go to the gym? On a diet? On an eating binge, in despair that my ass won't look like that without 1200 lunges every day? Well, dear readers, I did none of those things. I read TK's hilarious, beautiful, more-than-soul-baring post, and I decided I needed to clean my house.

No, seriously. I think it started because I was making dinner and thinking about TK's ass (what? You weren't?) and my ass, and how to get from the latter to the former, and I remembered that cleaning is supposed to burn a bunch of calories. And then I saw my kitchen counters and started moving appliances and cleaning under them while dinner was in the oven. Then I remembered my pile of Christmas detritus shoved into the corner of my closet, so I started cleaning that out and putting things away. I took a break to actually eat my dinner, and went right back to it. This was serious, ladies. I steam-cleaned the pergo. I vacuumed my stairs.

I threw in the towel (into the laundry basket, that is) shortly before TH got home from his late night at school and work, about an hour ago. I'm not sure why I was inspired to deep clean, although the house needed it, and I feel pretty good now. But I thought I'd share my little Monica Gellar spaz moment with you.

I do think I'm going to try to start doing yoga again. Lately I've been feeling pretty good about the state of my body (and I'm getting no complaints from TH), but I would like my ass and arms and stomach to all firm up / tone up / flatten down, and yoga's a great way to accomplish all of that at once (and you know I love efficiency being lazy), plus it has the added benefit of helping me destress, which I totally need. Work has been kee-raazy lately, now that I'm doing the work of almost three people. Fan fic helps me escape, of course, but yoga will help me relax. (I hope.) And if I lose the 20 pounds I'd like to while I'm relaxing, all the better!

So tell me, have you been strangely motivated to do something seemingly unrelated to that which did the motivating? Let's hear all about it...

Caught Nook(ie)-handed!

OK, firstly, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say one could google image search ANYTHING - and word or phrase AT ALL - and a Twilight-related image will be somewhere in the group of results. I'm pretty confident you can't disprove this, so please, go try. I'd be interested in finding out what doesn't result in Twilighty goodness. More on that later.

So, today, as on most days, I was taking my afternoon break in the break room at work, reading my nook.

Note: mine did not have MC Escher on it.

I had just gotten to a really good part in my latest fan fiction (written by @LauraLoo77, one of my Twitter pals, who writes excellent fic!! Check her out on ff.net by clicking here) - you know the part: where Edward and Bella are finally getting their groove thang on. Suddenly, our Director of IT was right there, asking about my nook and could she look at it, she has a kindle, and how do I like the nook?

Like an idiot, I just handed it to her.


Suddenly, I realized my error. I was pretty sure Edward's arousal was rubbing up against Bella's something or other, so I quickly punched the top button and the "back" part of the touch screen and showed her the main screen. She made no mention of porn, so I have no idea if she registered what she was looking at when I first gave her the thing, or what she made of my quick navigation to the main screen, and we just continued our inane e-book discussion as we left the break room.

I read porn in the break room.

Since the Director of IT is close friends with the CFO (my direct supervisor), I can only hope she doesn't mention anything she might have seen on the screen. Not that it's anyone's business what I read on my breaks, I just don't want to have that conversation.

"So, what are you reading on that thing? You know illicit materials aren't allowed in the office..."

But I need my fan fic escapes from work! I need them!

I need to keep mine dry for different reasons...

Now, to go back to my first point, I went to find the above images for this little blog post, and Twilight kept popping up in my searches. Of course, maybe it's what I'm searching for...

Thirsty? Serve Yourself.

What UP? The good news? I haven't stopped drinking as some sort of fucked up resolution or anything.

Last night

The bad news? God DAMN I'm tired and lazy lately.

So, yeah... I'm not sure what to say about how the blog will be going or whether I'll get back up to a regular posting schedule, but I've been on Twitter and will continue to be and I'll try my damndest to keep up with all your blogs! If not...

*source*

And so I leave you (for now, at least) to drink on your own. What'll it be?