The Velvet Kiss

Whaaaat? A Thirsty Thursday post? That's crazy talk!

How have you been, thirsty birds? There's a pretty funny story behind the genesis of this post, which is basically that I accidentally bought diet root beer at the grocery store last Friday. First of all, I don't like root beer and neither does TH. Secondly, diet root beer is like carbonated vomit in a can (I don't really like most diet drinks - that saccharin/aspartame flavor tastes like bad breath to me). I meant to buy TH some diet soda, which he loves, and for some reason the store decided to make diet root beer almost exactly the same color combination as diet soda - close enough that I grabbed the wrong one without really looking at it until the girl was running it along the scanner, and by then I owned it. So: let's drink it! Booze makes everything drinkable.

"She bought diet root beer?"
"She says it was an accident."

The 'lets, everyone! Left to right, they are Edlet and T.Edlet for you new followers I have (hi and welcome!!!).

Now, the second part of this story involves the latest fanfic to have pwned me: The Weight of Words by georgeygirl. This story is so well-written and so absorbing, if you haven't read it, make sure you do. It's All-Human and set at a college, kind of reminiscent of The University of Edward Masen, but the story is totally different. And, the best part, she's continuing it past completion in a different story (The Tongue Set Free), so you don't have to say goodbye to her characters! That's my favorite. So, in honor of that story and my grocery store mishap, I give you: The Velvet Kiss.

So simple, yet it will help rid me of one of six cans of disgusting soda.

1.5 oz Amaretto

Pour the Amaretto over ice in a tall glass and fill with root beer
(you can't see the ice, but it's in there!)

A tall, frosty glass of questionable beverage

It's actually not bad. It tastes like root beer, sure, but the amaretto seems to have offset whatever faux-sweetener they've used, so it just tastes like root beer except it starts to warm you up and give you a buzz pretty quickly, so that's nice. All-in-all, I'd say we have a ...

WIN!!!

So now I have a way to make my diet root beer drinkable! Yay! Although, adding booze probably offsets any benefit from it being diet, but oh well. Tell me, what's your least favorite beverage? Mine's a tie between diet root beer and tomato juice.

Mwah!

Men will always delight in a woman whose voice is lined with velvet. ~Brendan Francis

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. ~Ingrid Bergman

Caught Nook(ie)-handed!

OK, firstly, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say one could google image search ANYTHING - and word or phrase AT ALL - and a Twilight-related image will be somewhere in the group of results. I'm pretty confident you can't disprove this, so please, go try. I'd be interested in finding out what doesn't result in Twilighty goodness. More on that later.

So, today, as on most days, I was taking my afternoon break in the break room at work, reading my nook.

Note: mine did not have MC Escher on it.

I had just gotten to a really good part in my latest fan fiction (written by @LauraLoo77, one of my Twitter pals, who writes excellent fic!! Check her out on ff.net by clicking here) - you know the part: where Edward and Bella are finally getting their groove thang on. Suddenly, our Director of IT was right there, asking about my nook and could she look at it, she has a kindle, and how do I like the nook?

Like an idiot, I just handed it to her.


Suddenly, I realized my error. I was pretty sure Edward's arousal was rubbing up against Bella's something or other, so I quickly punched the top button and the "back" part of the touch screen and showed her the main screen. She made no mention of porn, so I have no idea if she registered what she was looking at when I first gave her the thing, or what she made of my quick navigation to the main screen, and we just continued our inane e-book discussion as we left the break room.

I read porn in the break room.

Since the Director of IT is close friends with the CFO (my direct supervisor), I can only hope she doesn't mention anything she might have seen on the screen. Not that it's anyone's business what I read on my breaks, I just don't want to have that conversation.

"So, what are you reading on that thing? You know illicit materials aren't allowed in the office..."

But I need my fan fic escapes from work! I need them!

I need to keep mine dry for different reasons...

Now, to go back to my first point, I went to find the above images for this little blog post, and Twilight kept popping up in my searches. Of course, maybe it's what I'm searching for...

Attack of the Homophone

You all know I’m a fan fiction addict, I don’t hide this fact. What you might not know is that I’m somewhat of a grammar and spelling nazi – I often forgo proper grammar on the blog, in tweets and comments, and sometimes even in e-mails and texts in order to preserve a more natural “voice,” because I write the way I speak and I do not always speak correctly; so much is contextual and appropriate in terms of colloquialisms and whatnot. However, I hold writing – like, “real” writing, as in books and fan fiction – to a higher standard, insofar as I expect grammar, spelling, and word usage to be proper. As a result, I am being driven crazy by misused homophones.

My readers are all intelligent and many of you are writers yourselves, so I’m sure you all know what constitutes a homophone, but just in case I have any lurkers who don’t: homophones are words that sound the same and have different meanings and are spelled differently. Your spell-check won’t catch these if you get them mixed up, because the word that sounds like the one you actually mean to use is a real word – spell-check fails to take into account the context of your usage.


The top five that make me insane when I’m reading my stories (feel free to send a link of this post to any authors you find making these mistakes):

Pour/pore – the misuse: “He poured over the book.” You really shouldn’t do that to a book, it will ruin the pages. Pour: to send (a liquid, fluid, or anything in loose particles) flowing or falling, as from one container to another, or into, over, or on something (from dictionary.com) / Pore: to study intently.

Taught/taut – the misuse: “The skin on Edward’s knuckles was taught.” What was it taught? French, I hope. Taught: the past tense of “to teach” / Taut: stretched tightly.

Bear/bare – the misuse: “I would bare the pain.” “I couldn’t bare it.” Gee, that’s going to make hot sex with Edward pretty tough. Bear (verb): to shoulder or otherwise assume the weight of something / Bare: nekkid.
Peek/peak/pique – so many misuses: “He brought me to my peek again and again.” “My curiosity was peeked.” “My curiosity was peaked.” “His erection peaked out from under the sheets.” Gosh, that’s too bad – but don’t worry, Edward, it happens to every guy from time to time. Peek: a quick or secret look / Peak: the summit / Pique: to arouse an emotion or action.

Right/rite (also wright and write, but those are not as misused) – the misuse: “It was a right of passage.” No, it wasn’t. Right: correct, or a law-given allowance / Rite: a ritual or ceremony.



I feel so much better just getting these off my chest. Recently, I was reading a story where muscles and skin and jaws were being “taught” all over the place. Then, out of nowhere, the author used “taut,” correctly, and I rejoiced! Soon after, she was back to “taught,” and I was losing my mind again.
Is this a pet peeve of yours? Have you noticed any that haven’t made my top five offenders?
Bear them awl inn the comments and I will pour over them later…

Fan Fict Addict

As most of you know, I have a raging fan fiction addiction. I recently added a list of recommendations to my sidebar (over on the lower right), in case you're interested in finding a new fic. Two stories are currently pwning me: High Anxiety by EdwardsBloodType (click the title for fanfiction.net or click here for Twilighted) is the first. It has certain similarities (AH, set in high school, broody bad boy Edward) to other fics I've loved (Wide Awake, Tropic of Virgo, and Scotch, Gin, and the New Girl, to name a few), and that made me realize that this is my favorite storyline. I've read all sorts (Master of the Universe, University of Edward Masen, Marble and Mahogany, Breakfast at Tiffany's, The Misapprehension of Bella Swan, Clipped Wings and Inked Armor... I could go on and on), and while I love many, many stories, the ones that truly get me salivating for more are the high school ones. This, I realize, is because I have a strange fascination with high school - I always have. I LOVE movies set in high school (Clueless, Heathers, Sugar & Spice, Bring It On, Pump Up the Volume, Dazed & Confused, etc, etc), so I guess it totally makes sense that Twilight and the fan fics inspired by Twilight and set in high school would be of particular interest to me.

High Anxiety, to get back to my current ass-pwning fic, is about broody, mysterious Edward Cullen and cute, trendy, just-moved-back-to-Forks Bella Swan. I don't want to give anything away, plot-wise, because at first it's a slowly unraveling little mystery, but it has some of the hottest not-quite-lemon lemons I've ever read (and you will need to read it to see what I mean), and it should be a lesson to Stephenie Meyer about teenage abstinence and how to write about it.

Now, I know not everyone likes fan fiction, and that's cool. And I know some of you only like certain kinds of fan fiction. Obviously, I have my own preference, but I truly like everything except slash. The way I think about it is like the characters are actors - like the Brat Pack in the 80's or something (there I go with high school movies again). I like seeing Edward and Bella and the whole gang in different roles, like Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in (several of my favorite) romantic comedies.

The second story that I just started but totally lurve was a recommendation from my bloggy friend Living With Edward. It's called Beyond Time (by TKegl), and it's kind of a crack fic (IMO). It's a New Moon kind-of-spin-off, where Edward never returned and Bella goes back in time to Chicago 1918 and then has to figure out what to do with herself... and almost-17-year-old, healthy Edward. It's awwwwwwwwesome. Bella has, like, no concept of how her actions affect the time-space continuum (not that the term is used, but you know what I mean), even though she talks about it constantly to the reader. And 1918 Edward is hilarious and charming. I love it.

Do you have a favorite fan fiction setting or plot? And what is currently pwning you? Share in the comments...

The Funniest Twilight Lampooning I've Read

Alright, I'm sending you away for this post. Check this out: http://www.cracked.com/funny-36-twilight/

It's old, and I can't remember if I found it on a post on Twitarded or if I found it on my own, but either way it's pretty damn funny. If you don't like to laugh at Twilight, you might not like it. Me, I like laughing at anything that's funny, and I think if you can't laugh at yourself and things you love (especially things I love as irrationally as I love Twilight), then what are you going to laugh at?

Let me know what you think. Happy Monday!

Fan Fic Recs

Oh, hai there, girlies... just immersed in some lovely reading!!

Earlier, here, I shared with you what I am currently reading (just finished one of those today!), and now I'd like to share some of the fan fic I've read that I think you will like. I am going to be all type A and organize it into some categories for you. I'm not going to re-recommend anything from my last recommendation post (here, not the one from earlier in the week), and, this time around, these will all be completed fics, so you won't need to wait for updates or anything. Ready? It's tiiiime...


Sweet & Fun, Not Super Long (Lisa, look here!!)

Breakfast at Tiffany's by HMonster4 and ProfMom72
Summary from fanfiction.net:
Edward admires Bella from afar, until a chance meeting convinces him to send her messages in the Tiffany's window. Can their two worlds merge beyond the grand gesture? <---This one is the longest at 34 chapters. WORTH IT. Alphabet Weekends by the-glory-days
Summary from ff.net:
Bored with their dismal sex lives, best friends Edward and Bella come up with the idea of exploring the world of sex using the alphabet for the next twenty-six weekends. What happens when things go from two friends having fun to something serious? <---I lied. Tied for the longest, also 34 chaps. Wendy's by KatieBelleCullen
Summary from ff.net:
Bella can't stop thinking about the silent yet intense boy who watches her at school. What happens when they meet, late at night, at Wendy's? <---Two chapters. 2. Go read it right now.


Canon Spin Offs or Alternate Forks in the Road (TwiredJen, these are for YOU!!)

While You Were Gone by Laura Cullen
Summary from Twilighted:
What if the wolf pack hadn't interrupted Laurent before he bit Bella? This is the story of Bella being changed despite Edward leaving her to prevent it from happening.

Rated for later chapters. Just like in New Moon, Edward will make an appearance eventually!

Daedalus in Exile by EZRocksAngel
Summary from ff.net:
After leaving Forks, Edward follows a path of weakness and isolation while eventually seeking redemption from the only person who can absolve him. (EPOV)

Dirty Dancing With the Devil Herself by JayJayHale
Summary from Twilighted:
Edward left Bella, forcing his family to stay away from her. Six years onwards, the Cullens are a mess without Bella and Emmett decides to get away from his angry, angst ridden family and let loose. What he finds in the meanest biker bar in Seattle will send shockwaves through his entire family.


All-Human

Awake In The Infinite Cold by quothme
Summary from ff.net:
Sometimes the fruit is forbidden for a reason. A mélange of Twilight and How to Be, with an Artward who so carefully and so softly sneaks under her skin and into her soul. Not your typical E/B romance.

Scotch, Gin, and the New Girl by withthevampsofcourse
Summary from ff.net:
"Les Liaisons Dangereuses, je croix. We were Cruel Intentions. We are Gossip Girls. We do not care. At all." <--- this is actually a very good description, as cryptic as it might be! Tropic of Virgo by In.A.Blue.Bathrobe
Summary from ff.net:
He's a young but jaded musician writing lyrics for his band, and she's a naive, frustrated poet looking to break out of her shell; their words collide online. What happens when they meet in high school, unaware of their literary connection?

Snowed In by eclipsedawn
Summary from Twilighted:
Bella travels to Alaska to vacation in the cabin Alice loaned her. What happens when Bella finds out she is not the only person staying in the cabin? <--- the first AH fic I read. LOVE IT. All-Vampire

Marble and Mahogany by letmesign
Summary from ff.net:
Bella is broken and unstable, trying desperately to start her own life after leaving her creator. Edward feels doomed to an eternity of wandering alone and finds himself hoping to find a mate for the first time in his existence. AU--some dark themes.

Past and Present by GiveUsAKiss413
Summary from Twilighted:
Bella is a centuries old vampire by the time Twilight happens. She's a dear friend of Carlisle's that hasn't seen him in nearly a century. She has her reasons. Carlisle has lied to Edward about the woman he doesn't remember by never telling him about her or about Edward's own past. What could have happened?


Alternate Universe (I'm gonna use this to cover everything that doesn't fit one of the above)

Carpe Noctem & Fiat Lux by queenofgrey
Summary from ff.net:
Endless midnight brings about a desire for morning, a longing for something more. Dark & light. Push & pull. Crash & burn. When Edward collides with Bella, it's up to them to find the balance, if the night doesn't consume them first.<--- RRREEEEAAALLLLYYYYY good. Dark, but super awesome. Very good ending, not what you'd expect.

________________________________________________

OK, so that about covers the ones I've really loved and hadn't recc'd yet. Hopefully there's something there for everyone! Sorry to just include the summaries from the sites, but I think they're best for a brief description; I might give too much away left to my own devices! Obviously I like them and thought they were great - I wouldn't recommend them if I didn't like them!
Have you read any of these? What did you like/dislike? Tell me in the comments...

What I'm Currently Reading

Happy Monday!

My last post was a total downer, so let's all take a deep breath and think about escape. We all like reading, right? At least a little, or you wouldn't be here, since reading the Twilight saga is what brought us all together. So I thought I would share a list with you. This list is called: What I'm Currently Reading.

Included here are books and fan fiction stories, all of which I have not finished reading (in the case of some of the fanfics, this is because they haven't finished being written, of course). Therefore, in no particular order, here we go.

Under The Dome by Stephen King
This is about a small New England town that is suddenly and unceremoniously cut off from the rest of the world by virtue of an invisible barrier. There are, of course, nefarious characters in the town and a bunch of shady situations that this sudden isolation brings into stark relief, and it reminds me a lot of his end-of-the-world works (like The Stand, The Langoliers, Cell, etc) in that the characters are on their own. So far (I'm about 2/3 through), it's really good.

Master of the Universe by Snowqueen's Icedragon

Most of you know this fic, of course. It rawks my world. If you've been living under a rock (Jen), this is an Edward & Bella story, wherein Edward has some very specific tastes in the bedroom. Hot lemons, excellent character development, and an intriguing story. A must-read.

The University of Edward Masen by SebastienRobichaud

Another popular one. It starts out with Bella as a student in Professor Edward's graduate seminar, and I would hate to give more away than that. Heavy drama, serious themes, but also lots of fun and goodness and our two favorite characters falling in love. This also has the only Peter I've ever seen in a fan fic, and I love him a little.

One Thousand White Women (The Journals of May Dodd) by Jim Fergus
This was my book club's selection two months ago, and I never finished it. I'm including it here because I have every intention to pick it back up. This is an alternate history fiction, wherein President Grant agrees to a Cheyenne proposal to integrate Native Americans into white society by exchanging 1000 horses for 1000 white brides for the Cheyenne (as they are a matrilineal society, any children resulting from these unions would belong to both Cheyenne and the "white tribe"). The proposal, apparently, really happened, but Grant turned it down in RL. So this book imagines from one woman's perspective what might have happened if he had said no but privately agreed. It is really good so far. That's why I mean to finish it one day.

The Naked Guy Upstairs by AngryBadgerGirl

This is a fun fic - Edward lives upstairs from Bella and the first time she meets him he is bare-ass nekkid. What more do you need to know? There are also fun twitter updates (in the story), and although it's starting to get a little more serious, it's still a ton of fun.

The Misapprehension of Bella Swan by hunterhunting

If you haven't read hunterhunting's Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, what the Hell is wrong with you? you should. However, that one is way heavy and heart-wrenching, and this one is super fun and not heavy at all. Bella's brother, Emmett, is a hockey player with a super famous, hot-as-fuck teammate. All I'm telling you beyond that is that the action is hot, heavy, and happens early. Where the story's at now, it's gotten almost sweet, while still remaining totally hot, which is a very good thing. She updates on Wednesdays. Go forth and read this. Latchkey Wife pimped it last week: here.

*sigh* I have to wait until Wednesday for an update on MoBS...

Edward Wallbanger by feathersmmmm

This is a super fun story. Bella and Edward are neighbors, an she gets to hear a special side of his evening exploits. Not a lot of drama, but a lot of funny, and feathersmmmm recs a TON of other stories in her author's notes. Good, clean fun all around.

Hiding in Plain Sight by limona

In this suspenseful fic, Bella is a very important witness in a case against the Volturi, an organization with similarities to the mafia. Emmett is the agent assigned to protect her, and he gets little assistance from his brother, Edward. This story has lots of suspense and drama, and a great sexual tension. It hasn't updated in forever, though. I hope it continues, it has been left on kind of a cliffie!


Burn and Shine by pulsepoint

Here's another one that needs to update! But, apparently, pulsepoint has had some RL drama, so I don't begrudge her a delay, I am just dying to see how this one turns out. Bella is a good-girl college student, while Edward is a convicted criminal who has served his time and moved to Port Angeles with his partner in crime (literally), Jasper. Emmett and Rose are also in this story, but it's primarily Bella and Edward with a side of Jasper and Alice. This Edward gives Fifty (from MotU) a run for his money as far as fucked-in-the-hEdwards go. But damn if he's not still hot.

Irritable Grizzly Adams by caligula42

I started reading this one after Twitarded recommended it a few months ago... I think it was JJ? Anyway, it takes place several years after Edward left in New Moon. Bella is a strong woman, but she's only put parts of her life back together to be able to function. A chance meeting with Edward changes everything. This one has my favorite obscure reference: she named one of the characters "Niedermeyer," in a nod to Groundhog Day, starring Bill Murray, which is a very funny movie. I mentioned it in a comment and she told me that was the inspiration, so it's not just a coincidence - bing!

The Canvas by Twiholic

This one is written by our very own Jelena! Oh. My. GOD. is it ever hawt. Girl can write! Bella works in an art gallery and Edward is an artist. I refuse to give away more than that. Go read it - the very first chapter contains one of the hottest lemons I've ever read. And it's only 10 chapters so far, so you can easily catch up and read along with the rest of us! Yay, Jelena!

What up, ladies? Just checking to see if The Canvas updated... love me some Jelly...

Never Sleep in a Strange Man's Bed by WndrngY

OK, two words: Southern Edward. Ungh. If you're a Jasper fan, you'll like this one. Jasper and Edward are both South Carolina boys, and that is an idea I can definitely wrap my legs head around. Alice brings her good friend Bella on a visit to her boyfriend, Jasper's, house, and Bella ends up sleeping in his brother's room. But then brother comes home... it's delicious. It needs to update soon or I will go mental.

Stranger Than Fiction by MasenVixen

Imagine if Edward never came back in New Moon, and Bella grew up to become the author of a world-wide phenomenon of a book that happens to mirror Twilight, having been based on her own memories. What happens when Edward finds out? This is another slow-to-update one, but it's at a really key point and I'm sticking with it. I love Bella in this fic - she's strong and she's not going to take any more shit from Edward. She knows what she wants, most of the time.

Wonderwall by tuleangel

I should probably give up on this one, but I love it and I love the idea. It hasn't updated since November.
Anyway, it's another if-Edward-never-came-back fic, only in this one, Bella has married Jacob. Lo and behold, one day, Jacob imprints. What happens next? I can't honestly recommend it, since I don't know if it will ever continue, and it's totally left on two (TWO!!) cliffhangers, but I hope it does. Tuleangel, hear me!! It's well-written and intriguing.

Seducing Ms Swan by DQRC

Yet another if-Edward-never-returned New Moon AU fic. (I must like that concept.) In this one, Bella has moved on as best she can, and become an English teacher (which seems about right). One day, she gets a new student: Edward Cullen. How will they react? What will happen? This one's behind on updates about a month (all of these being so slow to update is probably why I'm reading so many at once), but I have hope it will continue any day.

Against The Odds: When Lies Told Bite Back by madeleinejade

Another New Moon AU, in this one, Edward doesn't have a chance to not come back. Laurent turns Bella in the meadow. I really like Bella in this one - she doesn't just let Edward off the hook as easily as in the books. Of course, she's got other baggage to deal with, but still. It just had this great twist, too, and I love me some twists!

Renfield and Chiclets by katinki

This is a hardcore fic. There is blood play, so I'll just tell you right now not to read it if you don't think you'll like that. Edward is kind of a wallflower nerd, and Bella is his hot boss. It was originally a one-shot, and thank goodness it has expanded. It's really different than the others here, but I like it a lot. I'm intrigued...

Breakfast at Tiffany's by profmom72 and hmonster4

This one also used to be a one-shot, but it is MUCH FLUFFIER than R&C (above) and (so far) no blood play. It is super sweet and romantic and kind of silly and I love it. This is the one I was reading earlier today, in fact. It makes me giddy and gives me butterflies. I love it! It's only loosely based on the original story (BaT), and everyone's human, and (so far) Carlisle's a DICK. We don't know why yet, but I'm not caught up with the whole story yet, either.

Plum Spooky by Janet Evanovich

The Stephanie Plum novels are just easy, fun reads. This is the latest of the between-the-numbers books, and I'm reading it instead of starting new fan fics (I have too many going, as you can see).

And finally, FINALLY, my next book club book is The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie.
Apparently, this is YA fiction. I'm not sure if the fellow book-club member who chose this knows that or not. I haven't actually started reading it yet, but I need to before May 1 (because I hate showing up not having read the book). I've liked some of Alexie's other work (The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven, The Business of Fancydancing, and Reservation Blues are the ones I've read - I took an American Indian lit class in college), so I have hopes to like this one. I'll let you know.

Aaaaaaand now it's almost Tuesday.
Happy reading! What are you currently halfway into?

Vampyre: the evolution of an obsession

My love of vampires was born with Once Bitten (starring Jim Carrey). Does anyone else remember this movie? I think I watched it 60 times, at least. It was my one of my three most rented movies from the video store in the late 80's (alongside Labyrinth and Clue). Basically, Lauren Hutton needs to drink the blood of three virgins, and Jim Carrey is virginal and awkward. I haven't watched it in years, but in my memory it is funny and incredibly sexy, the latter largely because Lauren Hutton (understandably) prefers to drink blood from the peen region of a man's body. (Don't you wish that's how Carlisle turned people? Those flashbacks would have been even hawter.)

He doesn't look as excited by the prospect...

When I was younger, the main source of my anxiety attacks was the thought that one day we would all be dead, and there was nothing anyone could do about that. I believe my fascination with vampires stems from this anxiety (if I can just self-psycho-analyze for a moment - don't forget this blog is called Cheaper Than Therapy), because vampires are just like us except for their diets and the fact that they won't die naturally after a certain amount of time. There's also definitely something inherently sexual about the intimacy of drinking someone's blood, of course, but, for me, I think it's the immortality that was the original appeal.

Then Winona Ryder (who I already loved from Heathers) did Bram Stoker's Dracula,with Keanu Reeves (of whom, at 12, I was still a fan - hello, Bill and Ted fans).

Clearly, not a vegetarian.

This was a sexy, gothic movie, right about the time gothic became awesome in my recollection (probably the resurgence of vampires in pop culture had something to do with that, or vice versa), and it had Antonio Banderas (who, in my opinion, would be an awesome Eleazar).

In the mid-90's, when Anne Rice's vampire novels caught fire (even though I think the first one was, like, 20 years old by then), I was right there, ready to be obsessed. Plus, Brad Pitt was in the movie, and I was already wallpapering my room with him.

Well, hello there, young Brad.

And that was back before we all knew how fucking crazy Tom Cruise was, and even though he looks about as good in his wig as Nikki Reed does in hers, I thought he was an excellent Lestat.
I read all of those books - the cover fell off Interview With The Vampire, I loved it so hard. I even read all of the New Tales when those came out. I read it all.
And around the same time, Buffy had come out, combining my love of vampires with high school fantasies surrounding cute boyfriends and being popular (I was also a Sweet Valley High reader, and desperately wanted to be Jessica or Elizabeth). Since I was pale, freckly, and brunette, I lived vicariously through the hot, blonde characters (isn't the grass always greener?) in my books and movies, and Buffy was fun and sassy. Then the TV series came out, and I had a new obsession to distract me while Anne Rice wrote more novels.
Where the movie was campy and fun, the TV show was snarky and sarcastic and sexy and insecure. It was like My So-Called Life with vampires and more attitude. Buffy had the same problems as everyone else, but also a Watcher telling her what to do and the undead trying to off her all the time. And her boyfriend was one of them, although he just kept saving her (sound familiar, anyone?) instead of attempting homicide and drainage.
And THEN they introduced the Bad Boy...

Ungh.

Spike was hilarious and fuckhawt, and a worthy adversary for our heroine. So Angel brought the sexy and tortured-and-conflicted soul, while Spike brought the danger and still more sexy. Who to choose?

I'd like to be the filling in this sandwich. Or rather the filled... ifyouknowwhatimean.

Buffy was a fantastic show, largely because she didn't sit back and take shit from anyone - Buffy was one of my first heroines who rarely needed saving. She would get in fights and kick some ass, all while issuing witticisms and looking stylish. She totally held her own.

The only problem with this show (before they introduced poor, misplaced Michelle Trachtenberg as The Key), was that the vampires were decidedly not sexy when they fed.

Looking scrumptious, Spike...

Whoa, what the fuck happened to your face??!! Want some Benadryl?

When Buffy ended, I had nothing to replace it. I'd read all the vampire books I'd heard of, and I didn't really go looking for anything else. Buffy had taken a lot of my focus, and it was kind of nice to have a little break. And then...
Well, we all know what happened then. You can read about it here.

I was about as useful to TH while reading the Twilight saga as KStew is to Rob in this picture.

Twilight reignited my love for the vamps, ad infinitum. Once I finished read it for the fourth time, I went online to my library, where they have a recommendation option where you can put in what sort of book you're looking for and one of the librarians will e-mail you suggestions.
That's how I found the Black Dagger Brotherhood, the Nightwalkers, and the Midnight Breed. Sadly, there are no photos that do these characters justice, IMO, although the forum girls over at GoodReads.com have some awesome suggestions.

Let's just have another picture of these two instead.

Last Fall, the CW premiered their new program, The Vampire Diaries. I knew from the title that this was right up my alley, and then I heard that Ian Somerhalder was in it. YUM. I was already drooling over him in Lost, and now he was playing a vampire.

I'm sorry, what was I saying? I got lost in those baby blues...

He's not too bad, either...

This is the hottest promo shot I've ever seen. How jealous of Nina Dobrev am I?

When I first watched the show, I thought how perfectly Paul Wesley and Nina Dobrev fit what I had imagined Edward and Bella would look like when I read the Twilight books. The story was similar enough at first that I could imagine what it would be like if the movie had been remade with these two. Then I got sucked in (pun absolutely intended) to the actual storyline, and now I love the show on its own merits (one of which is that these vampires can and do have sex with humans, not that you get to see a lot of it, but what you do see is HOT).

I'm just posting this pic here because I love it so...

Elena also doesn't take any shit from people.
She's softer than Buffy (and lacks superpowers), but she doesn't define herself by her relationship with Stefan and she isn't afraid to read him the riot act and basically tell him to not be such an ass. I'm Team Elena, for sure.

I love how candid and casual this shot seems - and the look on Paul Wesley's face, like his hand got caught in the cookie jar and now he's in trouble. Meanwhile, Ian Somerhalder just looks like trouble personified.

Finally, for Christmas last year, TH bought me the first season of True Blood. He's such a loving enabler.

Sookie and Bill are a different kind of sexy

OH. MY. GOD. How hawt is this show? On this one, not only do the vampires have the sex, you get to see it. ALL of it. Or, as much of it as you're ever going to outside your own imagination. Bill isn't traditionally attractive, IMO, but somehow he's incredibly sexy. And then there's Sookie's brother Jason, the human hottie.

*drool*

And, if that's not enough, enter the Bad Boy, Eric (who I hear only gets better in season two, but I have to wait for the DVD release of that before I'll know for sure - don't tell me what happens).

I'd do whatever he told me to, and not because he's sheriff.

I think my undergarments just caught fire.

Sookie can read minds, like Edward, but she seems to be more troubled by it than he ever was. Maybe she just needs 80 more years to practice tuning people out.

No physical limits + HBO = hawt sexytime

She can't hear Bill, though (sound familiar again?), because he's technically dead. So she's a natural vampire companion, of course. She's also a damn spitfire - talk about not taking shit from anyone, although shit gets thrown at her from all sides a lot of the time. Seriously, Sookie goes through some trials. But she's strong and independent and takes care of herself pretty well. The season one finale had me cheering for her.

So here we are. I have four current vampire stories I follow: Twilight (via blogs and fanfic), The Vampire Diaries, True Blood, and The Black Dagger Brotherhood (Lover Mine is due to be released April 27th!). I need to read the Sookie Stackhouse novels (and probably the Vampire Diaries books eventually), but I'm going to need to see some of these other things through first. I just don't have the time for anything else!

What about you? Is Twilight the only vampire story you've ever loved, or are you a FangBanger like me? Tell me all about it in the comments...