Vampyre: the evolution of an obsession

My love of vampires was born with Once Bitten (starring Jim Carrey). Does anyone else remember this movie? I think I watched it 60 times, at least. It was my one of my three most rented movies from the video store in the late 80's (alongside Labyrinth and Clue). Basically, Lauren Hutton needs to drink the blood of three virgins, and Jim Carrey is virginal and awkward. I haven't watched it in years, but in my memory it is funny and incredibly sexy, the latter largely because Lauren Hutton (understandably) prefers to drink blood from the peen region of a man's body. (Don't you wish that's how Carlisle turned people? Those flashbacks would have been even hawter.)

He doesn't look as excited by the prospect...

When I was younger, the main source of my anxiety attacks was the thought that one day we would all be dead, and there was nothing anyone could do about that. I believe my fascination with vampires stems from this anxiety (if I can just self-psycho-analyze for a moment - don't forget this blog is called Cheaper Than Therapy), because vampires are just like us except for their diets and the fact that they won't die naturally after a certain amount of time. There's also definitely something inherently sexual about the intimacy of drinking someone's blood, of course, but, for me, I think it's the immortality that was the original appeal.

Then Winona Ryder (who I already loved from Heathers) did Bram Stoker's Dracula,with Keanu Reeves (of whom, at 12, I was still a fan - hello, Bill and Ted fans).

Clearly, not a vegetarian.

This was a sexy, gothic movie, right about the time gothic became awesome in my recollection (probably the resurgence of vampires in pop culture had something to do with that, or vice versa), and it had Antonio Banderas (who, in my opinion, would be an awesome Eleazar).

In the mid-90's, when Anne Rice's vampire novels caught fire (even though I think the first one was, like, 20 years old by then), I was right there, ready to be obsessed. Plus, Brad Pitt was in the movie, and I was already wallpapering my room with him.

Well, hello there, young Brad.

And that was back before we all knew how fucking crazy Tom Cruise was, and even though he looks about as good in his wig as Nikki Reed does in hers, I thought he was an excellent Lestat.
I read all of those books - the cover fell off Interview With The Vampire, I loved it so hard. I even read all of the New Tales when those came out. I read it all.
And around the same time, Buffy had come out, combining my love of vampires with high school fantasies surrounding cute boyfriends and being popular (I was also a Sweet Valley High reader, and desperately wanted to be Jessica or Elizabeth). Since I was pale, freckly, and brunette, I lived vicariously through the hot, blonde characters (isn't the grass always greener?) in my books and movies, and Buffy was fun and sassy. Then the TV series came out, and I had a new obsession to distract me while Anne Rice wrote more novels.
Where the movie was campy and fun, the TV show was snarky and sarcastic and sexy and insecure. It was like My So-Called Life with vampires and more attitude. Buffy had the same problems as everyone else, but also a Watcher telling her what to do and the undead trying to off her all the time. And her boyfriend was one of them, although he just kept saving her (sound familiar, anyone?) instead of attempting homicide and drainage.
And THEN they introduced the Bad Boy...

Ungh.

Spike was hilarious and fuckhawt, and a worthy adversary for our heroine. So Angel brought the sexy and tortured-and-conflicted soul, while Spike brought the danger and still more sexy. Who to choose?

I'd like to be the filling in this sandwich. Or rather the filled... ifyouknowwhatimean.

Buffy was a fantastic show, largely because she didn't sit back and take shit from anyone - Buffy was one of my first heroines who rarely needed saving. She would get in fights and kick some ass, all while issuing witticisms and looking stylish. She totally held her own.

The only problem with this show (before they introduced poor, misplaced Michelle Trachtenberg as The Key), was that the vampires were decidedly not sexy when they fed.

Looking scrumptious, Spike...

Whoa, what the fuck happened to your face??!! Want some Benadryl?

When Buffy ended, I had nothing to replace it. I'd read all the vampire books I'd heard of, and I didn't really go looking for anything else. Buffy had taken a lot of my focus, and it was kind of nice to have a little break. And then...
Well, we all know what happened then. You can read about it here.

I was about as useful to TH while reading the Twilight saga as KStew is to Rob in this picture.

Twilight reignited my love for the vamps, ad infinitum. Once I finished read it for the fourth time, I went online to my library, where they have a recommendation option where you can put in what sort of book you're looking for and one of the librarians will e-mail you suggestions.
That's how I found the Black Dagger Brotherhood, the Nightwalkers, and the Midnight Breed. Sadly, there are no photos that do these characters justice, IMO, although the forum girls over at GoodReads.com have some awesome suggestions.

Let's just have another picture of these two instead.

Last Fall, the CW premiered their new program, The Vampire Diaries. I knew from the title that this was right up my alley, and then I heard that Ian Somerhalder was in it. YUM. I was already drooling over him in Lost, and now he was playing a vampire.

I'm sorry, what was I saying? I got lost in those baby blues...

He's not too bad, either...

This is the hottest promo shot I've ever seen. How jealous of Nina Dobrev am I?

When I first watched the show, I thought how perfectly Paul Wesley and Nina Dobrev fit what I had imagined Edward and Bella would look like when I read the Twilight books. The story was similar enough at first that I could imagine what it would be like if the movie had been remade with these two. Then I got sucked in (pun absolutely intended) to the actual storyline, and now I love the show on its own merits (one of which is that these vampires can and do have sex with humans, not that you get to see a lot of it, but what you do see is HOT).

I'm just posting this pic here because I love it so...

Elena also doesn't take any shit from people.
She's softer than Buffy (and lacks superpowers), but she doesn't define herself by her relationship with Stefan and she isn't afraid to read him the riot act and basically tell him to not be such an ass. I'm Team Elena, for sure.

I love how candid and casual this shot seems - and the look on Paul Wesley's face, like his hand got caught in the cookie jar and now he's in trouble. Meanwhile, Ian Somerhalder just looks like trouble personified.

Finally, for Christmas last year, TH bought me the first season of True Blood. He's such a loving enabler.

Sookie and Bill are a different kind of sexy

OH. MY. GOD. How hawt is this show? On this one, not only do the vampires have the sex, you get to see it. ALL of it. Or, as much of it as you're ever going to outside your own imagination. Bill isn't traditionally attractive, IMO, but somehow he's incredibly sexy. And then there's Sookie's brother Jason, the human hottie.

*drool*

And, if that's not enough, enter the Bad Boy, Eric (who I hear only gets better in season two, but I have to wait for the DVD release of that before I'll know for sure - don't tell me what happens).

I'd do whatever he told me to, and not because he's sheriff.

I think my undergarments just caught fire.

Sookie can read minds, like Edward, but she seems to be more troubled by it than he ever was. Maybe she just needs 80 more years to practice tuning people out.

No physical limits + HBO = hawt sexytime

She can't hear Bill, though (sound familiar again?), because he's technically dead. So she's a natural vampire companion, of course. She's also a damn spitfire - talk about not taking shit from anyone, although shit gets thrown at her from all sides a lot of the time. Seriously, Sookie goes through some trials. But she's strong and independent and takes care of herself pretty well. The season one finale had me cheering for her.

So here we are. I have four current vampire stories I follow: Twilight (via blogs and fanfic), The Vampire Diaries, True Blood, and The Black Dagger Brotherhood (Lover Mine is due to be released April 27th!). I need to read the Sookie Stackhouse novels (and probably the Vampire Diaries books eventually), but I'm going to need to see some of these other things through first. I just don't have the time for anything else!

What about you? Is Twilight the only vampire story you've ever loved, or are you a FangBanger like me? Tell me all about it in the comments...